Yes Life: JOY and I

Zürich, 21,01.2022 21:15

 

Dear Darlynn, 

Meet JOY. JOY and I have known each other for a while now. However, up until 7 days ago she was living in my basement since very early 2021. We first got acquainted, JOY and I, back in summer of 2020 on a bicycle tour in Zürich with my friends who also happened to be my flatmates. We had one such weekend-long Ausflug every year. I have such beautiful memories from them. But those will be stories for another day. 

Anyway, this time around, because I was scared shitless to bike, one of my friends Simon offered to hire a tandem bike so I didn’t miss out on the trip. Very sweet, right? I know.:-) Yes, I have the best friends in the world,

Come day one of the tour, I got onto the back saddle like a pro. It was beautiful and exciting. It was also sunny and the wind felt great on my face. I was immediately sold on the whole tandem bike thing I thought. I could totally do this. All I had to do was marry someone with a tandem bike and then I would never have to worry about getting over my fear of biking ever again. Problem solved. Solution solutions solutions. The world was wonderful again.

My bliss was short lived however, as 10 or so minutes into the ride, my butt started to catch on fire. It felt like the saddle was digging its new home into my behind and nether regions. That is when I knew I was in for a rough ride and rough it was. Luckily, Zürich being as beautiful as it is, I could distract myself from the pain from time to time. The short breaks we took in between were also helpful. 

On day 2 of the bike tour, we stopped over at the childhood home of one of my friends Nina. Now, anyone who has learnt to cycle as an adult or sat on a bike after a long time knows that saddle inflicted pain is at its most excruciating the day after. I could barely sit after hours of ‘riding’ from the day before, so getting onto the bike again felt like someone was now hitting me in the bruises left behind by the saddle with an iron bar. Ok. That is a little bit dramatic but if you don’t already know, you will soon learn that: dramatic I can be. 

While at Nina’s home, I was encouraged to give riding one of my friend’s bicycles a try in the yard. I figured, why not? By this time I could peddle and stay on a bike for like a minute (assuming I managed to start), before fear threatened to drown me . So, without allowing myself to overthink about my possibly impending death, I went for it. Luckily, I managed to start on the second or 3rd try. 

Even if my heart was threatening to jump out of my chest at the time, the moment I sat on this bike it felt like sitting on feather pillows in comparison to the tandem or any other bike I had tired before that. This saddle was different. It was soft and kinder to my bottom. Up until that point, I didn’t think they made them like this. This bike also felt light and unintimidating. She had a gentle energy to her. 

Maybe with a bike like this, I might give this whole cycling thing a try, I thought. Maybe. Maybe some time in a distant future, when my butt has healed (assuming it ever does) and all traffic has been cleared from the roads. Or maybe one day when I am rich enough to build my own exclusively flat and wide roads. I didn’t think about it much after that.

Many months later, my dear friend Rahel told me that she was planning to buy a new bike (or that she had bought a new bike. Definitely one of the two, Please don’t judge me.:-)) and that she would be happy to give me her old one. No way, I thought. I remembered our very brief encounter in the summer. She could be mine? Did Rahel hear my thoughts that day during the bike tour? You see, my friend is awesome  like that. She somehow always knows the things I need before I do. It is possible she is psychic. 

Anyway, at that time when she told me, it did not sink in. Mostly because owning a bike was not something I ever imagined for myself. So, I said something to the effect of “For real? I would be more than happy to have her. Thank you so much” and didn’t think much about it after that. Part of me didn’t believe it would happen even if I had no reason to doubt it, because anyone who is blessed enough to know Rahel, knows that she keeps her word. It just didn’t sink in. PERIOD. I guess the thought of owning a bike let alone using one in any practical way was too scary and too foreign of a concept that my mind was completely closed off to the possibility. That is one of the sneakiest things about fear. It blinds you. 

A few months after that, she mentioned that the bike was now in the shop for fine tuning and that she would give it to me as soon as it was out. I thought: “She can’t possibly be serious. She knows I can’t ride to save my life. Surely she knows how much it terrifies me. How is she so determined to give me her bike? Is she sure? But why me? She must suspect on some level that this will be the least used bike in the history of bikes once she gives it to me”. Again, it all felt like someone else’s life and dream. It still hadn’t sunk in so much that I probably just smiled and said ‘oh cool’ or something. She must have thought maybe I didn’t really hear what she said kumbe I was just afraid.

I moved into my current apartment in February 2021. Some weeks after (very fuzzy on the time details), Rahel and her partner Regula also a dear friend brought JOY home. She wasn’t called JOY at the time though. I still couldn’t believe it. We parked her in the basement. And since then, I saw her every 2  or so weeks when it was time to do the laundry. Even if biking terrified me senselessly, I felt hopeful whenever I saw her. But I didn’t dare. I just took selfies with her sometimes and dreamed.

Fast forward exactly 7 days ago, amidst heart palpitations and shitting my pants, I took JOY for a spin for the first time since summer 2020. To say it was rough would be an understatement. Let’s just say there were tears and bruises. On both sides. We were both feeling abused by the end. Luckily, I had help and encouragement from my dear friend Nina (not the one whose childhood home we visited. I did have lunch with that one on this same day though and even told her about my biking plans with Nina later).  

JOY and I have come a long way since then. Today on day 7 of getting to know her, I knew her name is JOY.  

Yours,
aineo